By now it is likely that you’ve heard the news that Jeni and I are having a baby. In fact, you’ve probably even heard that we are having a baby on purpose and are really happy about it! Following that, you probably wondered why the heck we’ve decided to do this. Well, it’s a long story...

It started back in October of last year. Jeni and I had been in Scotland for almost three months, and we had definitely felt the strain of moving halfway around the world and into a new culture. Oftentimes we each wondered if we’d made the right decision. Jeni wondered if she had been selfish for bringing me along to Scotland, and indeed I wondered from time to time if I should have come along. To make things worse, Jeni found the Scottish school system difficult to adjust to and wondered if she had made the right educational choice.

“Come on Matt!” I can hear you saying, “We want a heart-warming tale about having a baby, and here you are telling us this sob story!” Alright, calm down now, I wouldn’t be telling you all this if I didn’t think it was important. This time of trial was extremely important in bringing Jeni and I closer in our marriage. This was the first time that either of us thought that our marriage might be in trouble, and so it caused us to really be honest with ourselves about why we are married and what marriage means.

We came to realize that above and beyond all else, marriage is a promise. Marriage is a covenant we made with each other in the eyes of God, and with his active approval and participation. In times of ease or in times of trouble, like we certainly found ourselves in moving to Scotland, the strongest bind between us is God’s blessing. He was the one who brought the two of us together into one flesh, and through this trial we learned what that really means. Selfishness would drive us apart, but submission to each other would keep us together.

We had come to the lowest point of our hard times and saw that things were going to be ok. Jeni then told me one of the reasons why our hard times had been so hard on her. For the previous few months she had found herself filled with the overwhelmingly strong desire to have children. Now for those of you who know Jeni, you know how unexpected this was. Jeni is (or at least was) famous for her denunciation of “ugly, screaming foodbags.” She was scared that our marriage was falling apart right when she realized that she wanted children.

At this point we’d discovered, or rediscovered, the foundation our marriage is built on, and brought Jeni’s desire for children out into the open. This experience planted the seed of the possibility of children in our future. Of course, this seed had a long way to go before it would sprout, much less bear fruit. Over the next few days I’ll recount how we went about making this big decision, and why we think it’s the best decision we’ve made since deciding to get married.