Ireland pictures post soon, but right now here's my today song for Hosea:

Boys (Lesson One) by Jars of Clay

Lesson one, do not hide.
Lesson two, there are right ways to fight
and if you have questions we can talk through the night

So you know who you are and you know what you want
I've been where you're going, and it's not that far
it's too far to walk, but you don't have to run
you get there in time

Lesson three, you're not alone
Not since I saw you start breathing on your own
You can leave, you can run
This will still be your home

So you know who you are and you know what you want
I've been where you're going, and it's not that far
It's too far to walk, but you don't have to run
You get there in time, get there in time

In time, to wonder where the days have gone
In time, to be old enough to wish that you were young
When good things are unravelling, bad things come undone
If you weather love or lose your innocence

There will be liars and thieves who take from you
Not to undermine the consequence, but you are not what you do
And when you need it most: I have a 100 reasons why I love you

So you know who you are and you know what you want
I've been where you're going, and it's not that far
It's too far to walk, but you don't have to run
You get there in time

So you know who you are and you know what you want
I've been where you're going, and it's not that far
It's too far to walk, but you don't have to run
You get there in time, you get there in time

If you weather love or lose your innocence,
just remember
Lesson one

"I look beyond the empty cross, forgetting what my life has cost..."

This Easter I find myself living in the midst of some frustrating, even heart-breaking contradictions. Rich coalesces with poor, kindness with arrogance, mercy with ruthless judgment. Encouragement is pushed up against rudeness, hope and despair.

Okay, so I've just been working at the equine hospital, but still. It's one of those places that really piles everything on top of everything else. It's been fun, though.

It does, however, makes me focus on the more serious contradictions that occur in my peri-Lent Christian life. If I am free in Christ, why do I live as on in chains? I am chained by my anxiety, my selfishness, my laziness. Despite being raised from the dead, I lay at the bottom of a deep grave, fully alive but unwilling to climb out. What presses on my beating heart? Doubt, pride, self-loathing. In the face of sweet salvation, I turn my head and walk in condemnation, cheapening the work of Christ by refusing to live in its reality. It's no' good, is it?

"Can I be the one to sacrifice, or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow?"

My Lenten fast failed. What started at a faith-focusing challenge turned into a legalistic battle, into which temptation walked easily and I didn't even look back, like Lot's wife but in reverse. Maybe I should be turned into a pillar of sugar.

I'm glad my husband prays for me. I think I need the intercession.

*with apologies to Mr. Donne